3 Characteristics of Close Families

This is a document me and my companion put together and presented for  a Family Night/ Fireside in Napa on Monday night. The following are  characteristics that we observed from interacting with several
families. We put together the top 3 characteristics that we found about the families that we ate with/ spent family nights with. Hope you enjoy! Note: This document has been changed from the original copy to include new ideas
 
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3 Charcteristics of Close Families

Parents listen with love

“..More important than speaking is listening”
“Elder Russell Nelson told me once that one of the first rules of medical inquiry is 'Ask the patient

where it hurts. The patient', he said, 'will be your best guide to a correct diagnosis and eventual remedy'.
If we listen with love, we won’t need to wonder what to say”

*(May 2011 Ensign, 'Witness Unto Me' by Elder Jeffrey R Holland)
 
Others whom love and admire you may at times come to you for help. They not only want to talk, but they want to know that they are heard. They value what you have to say, but more importantly they want to know that what they say matters to you. They want to know that their parents love them and are willing to take the time to help them. 
When you listen, you show that what they have to say does matters to you . In turn you will qualify for their

trust, honesty and love. Parents, do not criticize your children when they do not meet your expectations. The only person they have let down is themselves, so pick them back up with your love and encouragement and set them back on the right path.
 

Family members complement each other

“All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son

or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny”

*(The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

Complements cheer, motivate and give one a sense of identity and individuality. When you share

appropriate complements, you help others identify things about themselves that are unique, exemplary and praiseworthy.
This will create a greater environment of love, appreiciation, respect and trust. It will help you avoid criticism and withhold judgement, and instead see the good in everyone. You will begin to see that each person is a beloved son or daughter of the same eternal Heavenly Parents. You will have a greater capacity to love.

TRY IT SOMETIME! :)
 
 Family spends quality time together

Spending quality time together brings families closer together. Those activities should be fun, hands on,

and appropriate for the whole family. Make sure it is an activity your whole family will be interested in.

Learn to compromise. For example, if someone has an objection to a particular activity, allow them to choose the next activity. Spending time together allows you to influence the kind of activities your children take part in. It also greatly increases the likelihood of greater love, trust and communication.

'..Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the
hearts of the youth.. , and they will gain power to combat the [harmful] influences and temptations which beset them'

President Dieter F Uchtdorf gave the following quote in a conference talk

“In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time.” Whether family members get together for scheduled outings, sharing interests, or serving others, these gatherings strengthen relationships that can be eternal. The families below share what they’ve learned about making time together a priority.

Try applying the following ideas:

• Gathering the whole family together for dinner (as much as possible) 
• Holding a weekly family night at a day and time best for your families schedule (for example, Monday evening)
• Make plans together. Involve your family in choosing activities for family time. Set goals and make plans
  

   
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Looking Forward with Eye of Faith

What is Faith? Faith is a hope for things which are not seen. Having faith means you act each day upon things you hope for, even before you see the result.

Take for example planting a seed. It's not enough to hope it will grow on it's own. Our hope must be matched by consistent care in order to bring growth. Faith is such a principle in our lives. If we have faith that good will come in our lives, it is because we are consistently making choices that that will help us to grow. Our growth depends on our ability to act without waiting to know the end result.

The following is a real life example of faith. I hope that something in the following stories inspire you to seek the power of faith despite adversity.

"Toward the end of World War II, my father was drafted into the German army and sent to the western front, leaving my mother alone to care for our family. Though I was only three years old, I can still remember this time of fear and hunger. We lived in Czechoslovakia, and with every passing day, the war came nearer and the danger grew greater.

Finally, during the cold winter of 1944, my mother decided to flee to Germany, where her parents were living. She bundled us up and somehow managed to get us on one of the last refugee trains heading west. Traveling during that time was dangerous. Everywhere we went, the sound of explosions, the stressed faces, and ever-present hunger reminded us that we were in a war zone.

Along the way the train stopped occasionally to get supplies. One night during one of these stops, my mother hurried out of the train to search for some food for her four children. When she returned, to her great horror, the train and her children were gone! She was weighed down with worry; desperate prayers filled her heart. She frantically searched the large and dark train station, urgently crisscrossing the numerous tracks while hoping against hope that the train had not already departed.

Perhaps I will never know all that went through my mother’s heart and mind on that black night as she searched through a grim railroad station for her lost children. That she was terrified, I have no doubt. I am certain it crossed her mind that if she did not find this train, she might never see her children again. I know with certainty: her faith overcame her fear, and her hope overcame her despair. She was not a woman who would sit and bemoan tragedy. She moved. She put her faith and hope into action. And so she ran from track to track and from train to train until she finally found our train. It had been moved to a remote area of the station. There, at last, she found her children again.

I have often thought about that night and what my mother must have endured. If I could go back in time and sit by her side, I would ask her how she managed to go on in the face of her fears. I would ask about faith and hope and how she overcame despair" -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf- "The Infinite Power of Hope"

(October 2008 General Conference)

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" -Proverbs 3:4-5

Consider the words of this song:

"Don't look back, just go.
Take a chance and be strong,

or you could spend your whole life
holding on"

("Go" by Boyslikegirls)





The result of lacking faith is clear. If we wait too long, we may find that our time has run out to learn and grow and to have done the things that we have most hoped for. To those who are discouraged because of what 'could have been' or 'what never came', may I suggest that you look towards the future with hope. Please apply the council of the Lord to Lot, "Escape for thy life; look not behind thee".

Our future is only as bright as our faith", and it will be bright if we put our trust in the Lord

For more examples of how we can live by faith, see mormon.org

Who are Latter Day Saints?

THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST"The Lord's Church has always been a missionary church. Jesus Christ's life was the perfect example of missionary work. During His ministry on earth, he taught the gospel at all times, in all places, and to all kinds of people. Jesus taught the educated men in the temple, the sinners, the faithful and the unbelieving. He also called apostles and other disciples to preach the gospel so more people could hear about the blessings of His gospel. Most of their preaching during Christ's life was to their own people, the Jews. After Jesus was resurrected, He visited His apostles and sent them to preach to the gentiles. He commanded them, "Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature" (Mark 16:15)http://mormon.org/jesus-christ/

DEDICATION TO LEARNING
"Mormons are urged to learn about the secular as well as the spiritual. Secular knowledge, you could say, deals with the things we learn in school—math, science, history, literature, languages, music and so on. Spiritual knowledge is what you learn through scripture study, prayer and church attendance—things like our Heavenly Father’s Plan of Happiness, Jesus Christ's Gospel, and how to build faith. Both kinds of knowledge help us to know how to work through our individual challenges in a balanced approach."Mormon.org/learning

FAMILY FIRST
"People who have lived through a disaster never say, “All I could think about during the earthquake was my bank account.” They almost always say, “All I could think about was my wife and children.” It shouldn’t require a disaster for us to know this truth. But too often, we let earning money, chasing pleasure, or even the needs of people outside our families divert our attention. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints families come first"  Mormon.org/family


SERVING OTHERS
"Service allows us to practice doing what Jesus would do. It connects us to those we serve and gives us a kind of satisfaction that self-interest can never offer"

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that because everything we have comes from God, we should be willing to share it all—from our possessions and money to our time and talents—in order to help others who are in need (And it's important to remember that we're all needy in one way or another). When we serve others we are reminded that nothing in this life lasts as long as the bonds we form with other people, and there's no better way to connect ourselves to others than by working together for our common good" Mormon.org/service

Mormon.org/humanitarian-aid

OUR PEOPLE
"While our backgrounds and experiences are diverse, we share a deep commitment to Jesus Christ, to each other, and our neighbors. Watch these stories of faith in the everyday lives of Mormons"

http://mormon.org/people/

The Safe Way Home

While serving in my second area of my mission in California, I learned a lesson that I will never forget.
My companion and I were in a bicycle area, meaning that bicycle and foot were our only means of transportation. At became apparent that travelling at night would be difficult that transfer. The road home to our apartment was long and dark, and there were few lights in the last 2 miles between our area (Windsor) and our apartment. One night we were riding home from a lesson that had just taken place with a great family that we had only met a few nights before. The journey home seemed especially long that night, and as other times it was very dark. Neither myself or my companion had lights on our bicylces, so we road with with little lights there were from the old dim street lamps. However the closer we got to home, the fewer street lights there were and the darker it became on the country road until the only light we had was the lights eminating from the night sky, and the occasional passing car. Amidst the darkness, I could just barely make out a single white line at the side of the road, dividing the  road and the narrow shoulder where me and my companion were riding. I knew that I would be safe if I stayed on that line. 

Compare this analogy to our lives: as we journey through our mortal existence, we will not see everything clearly, but we will have enough light to find God's plan. His plan, like that white line, will guide us on the path that we should go. There is safety in His plan. But whether we make it safely home or not depends on our following that course that He has set. Let our minds be centered on this plan, and stay true to the course. And so it was with us as we road home. Although we could not see in front of us, we knew that if we would not venture from that path, we would make it safely home. 


















The Book of Mormon prophet Alma taught " For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss.. a straight course to the promised land.. (46) The way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever" Alma 37:44, 46

The gospel of Jesus Christ will provide strength and protection for us along our journey. May we each enter into the straight and narrow path and not stray from it.

To learn more, please visit http://mormon.org/plan-of-happiness/

Riding for The Brand

A few weeks ago in zone conference, Sister Bunker spoke about the cowboy code-- "a code of ethics that working cowboys valued and lived by" Her talk inspired to to find out more about this cowbow code and write a blog about it. So here it is: I hope you enjoy what you read just as much as I did!

"A cowboy would never dream of disrespecting a lady, taking the last of the water without refilling the bucket, or failing to share his last bit of food with a hungry stranger. The rules of cowboy etiquette were detailed and arcane. To know them, you had to be intimately familiar with life on the range. They covered any number of situations—when you could begin to eat, when you could wear your hat indoors, what to do if you came across a downed fence, and even where to leave your gun when you entered someone’s house. Cowboy ethics, on the other hand, were far simpler. Knowing right from wrong, following the Golden Rule and being willing to work hard would take you a long way." 

"It was the product of a unique place and time. Before the American West was settled and barbed wire closed off the plains, there was no framework of law. For the cowboy, the Code was the one civilizing influence that could be relied upon."

"The interesting thing is that no one can say with authority exactly what the Code of the West was. It was not carved in stone; in fact, it was not even written down on paper. Yet, while not every cowboy always abided by the Code, every cowboy knew what it was. What follows are the ten principles that capture the essence of the Code of the West and that still have meaning for us today:" 

1. Live Each Day With Courage                      

2. Take Pride In Your Work
3. Always Finish What You Start

4. Do What Has To Be Done

5. Be Tough, But Fair

6. When You Make A Promise, Keep It

7. Ride For The Brand
8. Talk Less And Say More

9. Remember That Some Things Aren’t For Sale

10. Know Where To Draw The Line 

  

(“Cowboy Ethics” Chapter 9- by James P. Owen)


RIDING FOR THE BRAND-- In the wild west days, ranchers hired cowbows to look after their cattle. These cowboys worked long and hard in all conditions to ensure that each cow was accounted for and was healthy and safe. Despite their rugged appearence, cowbows were kind and gentle and took as much care for his employer's cattle as he would his own.  

Each rancher had his own "brand"-- a marking on their cattle to showing who its owner was. This was the brand the cowbow would ride for, and he remained loyal to that brand until his service was no longer needed. If a cow went astray from it's pasture, he would search all across the plains until he found it. If a cow was sick, he would sit with it, and sometimes sing to it, and he would always try his best to nurse it back to health. A cowboy treated his work with as much importance as his own life. The open plains were his home, and there was no other place he would rather be.


Let us all  "ride for the brand" of the Savior. When our brothers and sisters wander from safe pastures, let us search with as much effort as one of these cowboys to reclaim them. When we see someone in need of comfort or service, let us comfort them and lend them a hand. Let us treat every person with as much love as we would if they were our own. Let us be kind and gentle, but stern when needed. Let us make the work of serving others our work!